The Purpose of Life is to Love

How well you live comes down to how much you love.

– Robin Sharma

This quote struck me deeply. I’ve built up many ideas about life, but it’s this simple: Love.

I used to think the purpose of life was finding meaning, living a good life, making a contribution, and being content. I guess I wasn’t far off. What greater meaning is there than to love and be loved in return?

For a highly sensitive person with a history of disappointments and hurt, it takes a lot of bravery to put my heart out there. To open it and love. To live with a spacious, giving, and kind heart. Because ultimately, all that will matter is whether I lived my life with my whole heart.

I want to live with arms wide open, embracing life and all it brings, good and bad. I don’t want a life where I’ve tiptoed through with my heart concealed somewhere deep and dark.

My dream life is filled with diverse people who share parts of my life and feel loved and accepted. I want them to feel that they’ve been encouraged by a kind word or gentle touch, or that some good came from my presence or influence. I want to be of use and service to those I encounter.

What I Lost

Living and loving without reservations is probably one of the hardest things. It’s unconditional love and the second most important commandment in the Bible.

Unconditional. It’s a loaded word. It means total acceptance of people and giving love without them having to earn it. This means looking past prejudices and preconceived ideas. Not making snap judgments based on appearances. Getting past my issues and giving people a chance, knowing they will fail. Because they are human. That is the human condition, we are flawed. So maybe I will be this person’s mistake. That’s okay.

By avoiding the risk of freely giving, connecting, or building relationships, I deprived myself of the joys of openheartedness, sharing, special moments, closeness, loving, and being loved. Of living a full life.

By not making space for others, I may have saved myself from heartache, but I also prevented myself from experiencing life’s best things. Living in the freedom of truth, not constrained in my ‘safe’ box.

Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives.

– Brené Brown

True connection requires openness and honesty. I’ve kept most people at a comfortable distance. I wasn’t being open-hearted and truly sharing myself. I wasn’t being brave. I convinced myself this was the safe way. The truth is the safe way is not living at all.

In close relationships, there’s no greater feeling than showing your true self to another and still being accepted and loved.

The Leap

Once I realized the sad state of my guarded heart, I had to make a big change. But the thought of risking everything was excruciating.

I felt (and still do) like I was standing on the edge of a dizzying ledge. Do I jump, try, dare? I know I have to. What’s waiting for me down there? Will it be worth it? Can I handle the outcome? Will my heart be broken or my intentions be trampled? Will I survive?

I see myself standing on the unknown ledge of vulnerability and unconditional love. I close my eyes, spread my arms wide, and without thinking about it, I slowly fall forward. A feeling of freedom and carefree surrender rushes into my heart. I know this is what I’m supposed to do. It feels right. There’s no resisting life anymore, but acceptance of what is and what will be.

Embracing Fear & Letting Go

I had to acknowledge that the past disappointments and hurts still affected my life, changing me. They made me distrustful and closed off. But that’s not who I am. I needed to let go of those things to be me again.

I want to live a brave life, not giving up on people or myself, but always getting back up and trying again. I want to give others the benefit of the doubt. Most people are good and try their best.

People need to make do with what they have, and some have been dealt bad cards. It’s not about me. Everyone has their own issues, which can cause them to act up, make poor choices, or lash out. What people say and do may affect me, but most of the time it’s not about me. Knowing this means I never take it personally. It’s about them and their issues.

With this in mind, leaping doesn’t seem so terrifying anymore. I still feel fearful sometimes; it’s a process of love and acceptance of myself and others.